When Should I Give Up On A Worship Team Member

We all have various difficulties with our team members? Should we ever give up on some of them? When do we draw the line? Alex answers a coaching call from a new worship leader facing a difficult situation.


WMT 10-Week Mentorship!!!!


13 Ways To Win When Starting At A New Church (Podcast)

How To Have Difficult Conversations with Team Members (Podcast)

Getting Started At Your New Church (Unreleased Chapter)

Creating A Culture of Growth and Development (Unreleased Chapter)

Cultivating and Maintaining Healthy Culture (Unreleased Chapter)

How To Have Difficult Conversations (Unreleased Chapter)


Alex Enfiedjian 00:00 Hey friends, I have a little bonus episode for you this month, I got a couple emails that were questions. And I did little coaching recordings for these people and wanted to share them with you Just in case you might need help. This question came from Josh. And the question is about inheriting team members, and when should we give up on a team member? Now, if you are helped by this kind of coaching, I wanted to let you know that I’m going to be launching a 10 week online mentorship program, only taking a small group of worship leaders through 10 weeks of curriculum to help them grow in their calling. And then also answer some questions like these. If you’re interested in being part of the first mentorship, go to worship ministry training, comm slash mentor, worship ministry training, comm slash mentor, fill out the form. And I’ll get back to you, I’m only accepting 20 people. And so go ahead and go there if you’re interested. And we’ll see if the Lord allows us to work together. Alright, here’s the coaching call to Josh. Hey, Josh, this is Alex from worship ministry training. And I know you said you’re not really available for a phone call today. And I won’t be available tomorrow. So I figured I would just record you a quick little voice memo, answering your question as best as I can with the information that I have. First of all, like I said, through our little chat on my website, like I really believe you’re going to do a great job as a worship leader, because you’re already out looking for information. And you already are asking the right questions. And so that just encourages me that God has chosen the right guy to do the role at your church, wherever your church is, I’m not sure. But you’re going to do a great job because you’re seeking to grow, you’re being humble, you’re looking for help and information. And those kinds of people, as long as you stay humble, can be used greatly by the Lord. And so I’m excited for you to step into this leadership role. I’m not sure which if it’s your first leadership role, or not. But I’d love to be a resource to you through the podcast through the website. I’m actually going to be launching a mentorship for worship leaders pretty soon. But yeah, man, I’m I just love helping worship leaders. And so I’m excited to help somebody who’s hungry to grow. And the question you’re asking in the email is you onboarding some team members, right when you took over? And now you’re realizing one of them’s not spiritually ready. And the other one isn’t a fit into a worship team voice style? And you’re asking basically, should I go back on them? Or do I do my best to invest in them and pray that God will bring the team closer to where he wants it to be with them involved? Okay, so here’s, here’s how I would answer that. And I trust me, I had this exact problem. Three years ago, I came to my new church, and I inherited a team and a bunch of the people on the team, were not really the type of singers or musicians that I want to play with. But here’s, well, what I’ll say,

Alex Enfiedjian 02:58 one, God doesn’t give up on people, right? Like God never gave up on me, God never gave up on you. And he likes to take us from where we are to where we need to be. And so unfortunately, for the leader, that means that we have conversations with people to help them see where we want them to be, it can be incredibly uncomfortable, and nobody likes to do that. But here’s what I would suggest you do. Before you pinpoint these particular individuals and sit them down and say, here’s what I need from you, I would make sure that you’ve been clear to the whole group, the whole team, what you need them to be and what you need them to do. So hey, guys, we’re gonna have a meeting. And I want to share my vision for our ministry. Here’s what we need, from you spiritually, where each of you needs to be at spiritually with the Lord. These are the types of characteristics and the types of people that we are asking you to be. If you feel like you’re not there, then let me know let’s talk about that. And that can open a dialogue with that person who’s spiritually not quite ready. But paying that clear vision of what you expect from them is helpful. Because if you haven’t said that to the whole team, and they don’t know what you expect of them, both spiritually and musically, then there’s really no standard to hold them to down the line or even right now. And so you have to first like let the vision in your head be clear, so that there’s a standard that everybody is working off of, and everybody’s working out the same standard. And it’s not just a one time conversation. It’s a multiple time conversation. For example, when I first came here, I had musicians who were incredibly busy, busy musically like they were like playing way too much. And I promised Josh I probably said, Hey, guys, we need to simplify Hey, simpler is better for two years for two years straight before They even started to like, grasp the concept and internalize it. And as I would got clearer and clearer with the vision, the people who didn’t really want to go forward with me fell off the back of the train. And I do talk about that in the episode I recommended that you listen to the episode is called 13 ways to win win starting at a new church because it talks about inheriting a team. I think I even wrote a chapter of a book that I haven’t released yet, and maybe never will. But I’ll send that to you in the email as well. Because I think I wrote about inheriting a team. So yeah, create a clear vision, continue to reiterate what you’re expecting. And then if people aren’t hitting that vision, then you can have private conversations with them. Like, Hey, I noticed that your social media posts haven’t been very godly. Let’s talk about that. Like, how can we honor the Lord in our social media posting? How can I help you understand that better, those types of posts aren’t acceptable for a team member? Why because we represent Jesus to our church, we represent Jesus, we’re leadership, we’re spiritual leadership of our church, we stand on a platform, blah, blah, blah, then you start to have those conversations. And in your conversations with these people, you’re always for them, you’re always for the people. So I would just encourage you to be for your team. And also, I did an episode called How to have hard conversations with your team. And so you can check that out as well. And I’ll put a link in the email back to you. But it’s not easy to have hard conversations, but you will never have the team you want if you do not have those conversations. So it’s not confrontation, it’s called speaking the truth in love, you’re for the person, you want the best for the person, and you want to help them grow, just like God continues to be faithful and wants to help us grow. He points out our flaws, and he gives us 25 chances. Now here’s here’s the thing, if somebody can’t keep up, it should become abundantly clear that they are not hitting the standard, like, you should be so clear with what the standard is that eventually they realize, you know what, this, this isn’t working for me, this isn’t for me, and I’m not keeping up and I just gotta, I gotta step down. Or if if they refuse to step down, then you’ll have to say, hey, look, we’ve had this conversation 25 times. Like, I just don’t think this is the right team for you anymore. And so I’m gonna ask you to serve in a different part of the church, you’re still loved. It’s just this isn’t a great fit. Now for the vocal person. Same kind of situation like, hey, I need you to work on your blending, can you can you please tell him but back the vibrato, and always tell them why always explain why. Because if they don’t understand why, then they won’t really buy into what you’re asking them to do. But if you say, Hey, your vocal style, your vibrato is very draws attention to itself, and it doesn’t blend with the other singers. And in a church setting, we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves, we want to blend. So you know, please, can you work on that, and then I’ll be very honest with you in two weeks, I’ll let you know if you’re doing better or if you need to continue to work on that. And then like in two weeks, if they still are, like not singing how you need them to sing these, uh, hey, you know, we talked two weeks ago, I think maybe I might not be able to help you. But maybe you can go see a vocal coach, and the church will pay for the first lesson. And you can see if if you’ll get better. But if you continue to draw attention to yourself through your vocal style, then I don’t know if it’ll work out. So again, those conversations are horrible. And it feels all like knotted inside your hearts all you know, knot in your stomach all nodded, and you’re just like, but that’s what it means to be a leader, you’ve got to take the team where you need them to go. I would say that you got to give people a chance. You’ve got to set a clear vision and expectations. And then you’ve got to have conversations with them, and be patient with them. And hopefully you’ll win your brother You know, in or sister in a sense, you’ll win them you’ll you’ll get the team member you want. But I’ve lost a few team members over the years that I’ve been at my church, they just haven’t wanted to continue for whatever reason, maybe two or three of them, maybe four of them. And in those cases, it usually is a blessing subtraction, you know, so don’t lose heart but do everything in love. So, man, I hope this helps you and cool. Thanks for letting me speak into your leadership.

Alex Enfiedjian 09:26 Hi, bye